KEEPING THE MIND OCCUPIED

Too much 'things' on my mind to be doing what I would normally do at home. Not that I do 'much' but so far the 'things' that I normally do would be 'things' that I'm passonate about. Passions seems not to exist anymore with what used to give me much joy and satisfactions.
It's been months that I've negect my sunflower collections (I'm seeing dust ... dust and more dust).
I have no 'mood' to even do my cross stitch.... and my poor orchids... my poor pets...
hhmm....what is 'wrong' with me?
Finding myself crying at seven is the morning seem an unlikely story for me but thats just what happened. Infact it was like that the whole day today. A slight tigger of the nerve gets me all teary eyes.
aahhhh.... I need to pull my life together.
I kept assuring mysely...Why should I feel 'bad' and depressed when I could be feeling the opposite?..
afterall whatever happens... life do go on and it only stops when you're dead.
Why waste the one and only life you have.
hhhmmm...... somehow it's much easier said than done.

First step was to be occupied so I did a lot of 'cleaning' clutters that I feel I've collected throughout the years. Still not done with today. It'll be a lot more 'cleaning' before I'm really going to be rid of .... 'memories'.
Hey ...but I managed to do some 'clearing' at the back of my house. And I have a lot of ant's bite to show for it too..... darn ants @$?>$%>..

Cooking was something that's is no longer exist in my 'book' although I do cook for the cats and dogs everyday.
The girls seems to like the idea of eating out everyday evenwhen I told them it will only be temporary.... until I get the 'mood' back....or so I said.
They were only eating a meal at home so it was actually better to eat out or order take out than having me going through the trouble of preparing the meal itself when in the end it will end up being doggie's meal.
We were all also trying to loose a few kilos.... (konon konon la... long ago story ) so there were lots of times when we only took either bread or fruits.

Tonight we went out for dinner at Champ's with a suprise waithing in the form of a piece of birhday cake and a bottle of marinda from coach Alex. It was his birthday and the girls had a small celebration that afternoon. Tisha had tuition so was unable to attend. I'm sure she was happy with the gesture shown by the man whom she had considered her second dad.
I had a 'difficult' night trying to controll my mind and feeling over what Tisha said was something I'm imagining and blowing out of a 'small matter'
I'm not sure she was right..... something just don't feel in place and it's what makes me feel this 'unsureness' of everything in my life at the moment.
Meantime..... we live life as it is...

Having and eating my 'cake'......


























The piece of fresh cream fruit cake before we 'attack' it.




















Our 'now' favourite...... Tisha's plate... outcasting the 'greens'