WEEKEND -HALLOWEEN

Saturday- It's Halloween!
I woke up today to a very cold morning.
Eventhough the air condition was still 'sick' the fan wasn't. Andrew has a habbit of having it on the whole night wherelse I sleep without both.
Darn... I don't feel so well now.
Got the rush with the 'need to do' stuff as dad would be picking us for church at eight.
It's been two weeks in a row that we missed service. I didn't want to miss again this week.
Andrew on the other hand wanted me to go with him on his hunt for his electronic stuff again. I compromised by letting him pick us up right after sabbath class.
We went for lunch and later to giant for some shopping.
Afternoon was spent napping in the living room with Andrew and Yona with the airconditioner fully blasted.....Brrrrrrrr...was so cold
Evening was on the net just browsing through as was with Andrew and Yona
When hunger finally strick it was already nine oclock.
We had dinner at Kim Fung's market place where we then refill our drinking water supply.
Was felling very sleepy by the time we got home but still managed to watch an episode of the amazing race on AXN ( Kev Jamba was there so...). I went into my 'den' around eleven.
Wanted to do some reading before sleeping but my eyes just won't stay open.
zzzzzzzzzz.....
So much so for halloween...it was just an ordinary day and night for me .
Unless you're still in 'that' era where it's a night of loud music and dancing it was pretty much the same for everyone else here.
It was a big 'happening' event though at Tiara club.


Lazy sunday

Woke up at seven, which is something rare considering I went to bed early last night. I would have expected to wake up much earlier.
It was a rainy 'moody' sunday. Probably the reason behind not waking much earlier . It would have been good to walk the sunday market or do some work around the house in this weather condition. On the contrary I didn't do both.
The 'mood' was simply not there.
Andrew drove back to KK right after taking me out for breakfast.
He knows how 'lazy' I am to go out on my own . Furthermore the fact that I don't eat my own cooking makes it more reason to go. (I've been complaining about my unwanted weight loss)
I actually had the heart for some pan mein but he wanted something else....eeeeeeeeh
nevertheless it was still good.
By the time he left, my mood for the day was still nowhere to be seen.
So the rest of the hours were spent infront of the tv.
I watched asia amazing race and three CSI episodes....with short naps in between :)
The rest of the afternoon were spent online doing my (useless) farms.

We went to mom's place much earlier than usual when Atlas called and said Dad wanted to have dinner early and also he wanted to talk about some 'matters'.
Blah blah blah...yak yak yak... we talk...
and talk and talk...
....all good stuff..including the food of course


Finally went home at around nine upon seeing Lydia sleepy.

It's Friday again

Nothing I could recall that is meaningful today except that it rained for most of the day....and night.

Went to mom's house for dinner although I wasn't really that hungry. I have been munching on junks  throughout the afternoon.
Spent just a little less than an hour there as Yona had training .

I have forgotten to bring along any reading material that time seems to go so darn slow when you're just sitting there waiting for the session to end.
I went online to FB through my phone but there wasn't really much to do if you don't play any of the games there.
This is one of the 'thing' that you can't do using the phone...hhhmmm

With that I went back to the car's backseats and tried to get some advance sleep.
It was raining so there were not much people passing in and out at the parking lots. Sleeping was just the right.

WHY BOTHER?

Feeling pain is necessary. Sometimes pain is the teacher we require, a hidden gift of healing and hope for a better tomorrow.
Although we don't have to hold on to the pain, to hold on to the memory.

Why bother to 'dig' for 'dirt' if it is only going to add to the sorrows?
Why bother to that extend?....
What is there to gain from this?
It's always better to look for future happiness instead of raking over past disappointments which we can't change.
so.. why bother?


For my so called friends out there -
Isn't it always better to shut ones mouth if one doesn't have anything nice to say? .
Just stick to the ninth commandments if you don't have all the puzzles for the whole picture.
You have no rights in the first place to intrude.
so ...why bother?

IT'S BURST...DAY

AAAAAAAAAAAAA.... (big aaaassss mean more serious) my eye!
I looked like someone had given me a punch there. All red and swollen.
The pus...eeeeeeoow!
Looking at the 'thing', I knew I was going to 'enjoy' myself bursting that sac.
About time too. I waited till I had finish doing all my moring chores before doing it.
Hehe.. prolonging the suspense I suppose.

Again I was a bit dissapointed when there was not much of the 'yucky stuff' come out.
The pain was still there although I can sense great relief after the 'burst'.

Yona wanted to go to school today but backed out again at the last minute.
I'm much satisfied today because I got to do a lot of 'stuff' which I could account for at the end of the day.
Firstly, I finally finish painting the swing while doing the laundry( multi tasking)....yeah finally!
Though that is not the end of the painting task. I would still need to do the pot stands, the backyard fence ...plus the kitty's cage....plus..plus..plus
Yeap... there are still lots of 'them' that needs fresh coats .

I watched back to back two CSI episodes while doing the 'siput' snack.
So easy to do yet takes much of your time.
Two episodes would mean two hours... that was how long I took to 'shaped' them.
It's not my favourite amongs snacks but really don't mind having once in a while. I would say Lydia appreciate them much more than me.
kids + snacks(junk food) = happy
Easy to do dough...everything in
The 'difficult' part - shaping them into tiny snails


Hhmm... after all the hard work..I kind of overdid them with the frying
I'm complaining because they kind of gotten a little on the hard side and I have difficulty on 'hard' food :(

Tonight I started cleaning my room too :)
-I know .....still got a looooooooooooog way to go

SORE ...SORE

Woke up with a pain on my right eye. I just knew then (more like felt) that the eye would be swollen. True enough , it was.
aaaaaaaa....I looked eeerrr......'different'


Yona didn't go to school again today even after weighing the pros and cons over and over last night.
Waking up late was her excuse. Daaa..... five minutes late makes a difference?
So much so for asking my advise weather to go or not.
This is the third day in a row she went AWOL.

The weather was 'gloomy' and everything around was still wet from last night's rain that I totally erased the idea of doing my schedulled hour/day painting job.
I had just a little bit more to finally finish the swing project ( ..into the second week now :( )

With my sore eye as an excuse, I laid down on the couch with a tea bag on one eye and watch tv.... hehehe..with the 'good' eye.

Waited for the 'gasman' (hehe..is there even such a word?) to come but as usual when you wait they hardly come.
None infact until around 4pm. Even that too I missed.
I had no choice but to cook my curry chicken ( my make for the day )using the electric stove.


Curry turned out fine although a little runny while this picture was taken.


Though very much reluctant to go for training, we somehow went after dinner (yea..runny curry).
While Yona was allowed to rejoin her team , Lydia was rejected by her coach sighting that she had missed training for two months without informing him.
Now that was 'some' statement he made.
I remember distinctly telling him that the girls won't be coming in for training until Yona's PMR exams were over the last time we met.
I totally lost my 'cool' although remained calm when he begun 'telling' me infront of the trainees.
I knew he wanted me to stoop a level lower and 'beg' him to have her back in the team but I guess the way he went about it were all 'wrong' in my sight.
The damage had been done and I totally lost my respect for him as a coach there and then.
No way was I going to give him that satisfaction of admitting I'm at fault here when I know I'm not.
With that I just walked...almost pulled Yona out too.
Told Andrew about the whole 'fuss' and was pleased that he was a hundred percent behind my decision to walk.
The rest of the training session saw me and Lydia sitting at the hall reading....me on my 'Chicken Soup' collection and her on her english text book.

“Men are respectable only as they respect”

SUGAR.....LESS

Today I finally made that carrot cake Yona wanted so much.
I was actually a bit on the 'lazy' (as always) mood but she was ever so eager to help out. This time, unlike on so many other time, I let her do .
Actually she only got to grate the carrots and chop the wallnuts...... which she said was tiring.
I mentioned sugarless because that was what happened to these cakes. Not totally though. Just the brown sugar portion. A bad 'mistake' as it is an important ingredient that gives carrot cakes their distinctive taste.
It was too late to add in for the ones that are in the cups but I managed to add some for the one in the big baking tin.
pretty cakes going in oven



Lydia enjoying the cuppies served with cream cheese topping

I kind of felt some growth on my right eye lower lid this morning when I unintentionally rubbed it . Boy was it itching 'bad' then.
As much as I tried not to disturb it....I guess I did because the itch continued through out the whole day.
I didn't realised how bad it had become until evening came when I looked in the mirror and found that there was... pus!
eeeeeow... now I can't help not to squeeze...... nothing much really came out but squeezing was a darn stupid thing to do . The pain...oh the pain



Is heartache an appropriate price to pay for momentary happiness? I think not....nevertheless

MONDAY NOT SO BLUE

As usual , monday has always been considered an 'off' day for me. Although I did managed to do my hour of painting as well as the day's laundry before sitting infront of the pc doing what I do best.
Jo called around nine asking me to go for breakfast with her. Also to settle some electricity bills at the board's main office at Batu Sapi. She didn't want to make the long ride alone.
I said yes to the offer but will only budge from 'here' after I have attended to my farms.... :) .... she was actually doing the same too.
Talk about fb addiction...we're both good examples.
We had breakfast at mile four...the usual place when the urge for laksa came up.
I'm not really sure what is the name of the shop but it has the number 33 in it.
I opted to forgo the laksa for a hot ( literally hot!) bowl of chiken century egg porridge which took 'hours' for me to finish.
It was an hour before midday when we finally left the eatry ( been to long apart so lots of 'juicy' stories to exchange there)... to deal with the electricty bills thingy which infact took less than ten minutes to settle.

We stopover at parkwell to buy some lunch for the girls before going home .
Ten minutes to one , I went over to send Jo to the airport.
She would be attending a seminar in KK until wednesday.

The girls were ready and waiting for me when I came back minutes later. We were going out to get Yona's BSN book which was supposed to be collected last friday.
I could have done the collection myself without her if I had knew they didn't need her to sign any acknowledgment document.
Hhmm... another note to question on the bank procedures here.
Why are they allowing me to collect her book ?. I asked and they simply give... don't that make you wonder?
Could any strangers have come and collect it? I didn't even said I am Yona's mom.
hhhhmmm........

A good 'sign' that greeds us on the way to the bank

Since I parked my car a distant away from Parkwell, we decided to do some minor shopping. Much of the time was actually spent on window shopping. I kind of said the word NO...put it back! over and over again. Lydia was being herself again and kept on asking for 'can I have this?....can I have this'? thus my answers.

Something that caught my sight as we walked along the path to Parkwell... nice

NotReallyAlone

.

To have someone to relate to and hopefully enjoy the music and get a positive message out of it, to make the best music that we possibly could, those were the goals in everyone's lives.

It is my belief that we all have the need to feel special.
It is this need that can bring out the best in us, yet the worst in us.

A lot of times I felt so alone. But I also know there are other people that have experienced either what I have, or close to it.

We are really not alone in our thoughts and feel.

SUNNY SUNDAY

A bright sunny sunday it was. Too bright for my daily one hour painting job.
Yea yea...it's a sunday and waking up early was not one of the 'things' that I usually do on a non school morning thus the reason for the much risen sun.
Not that I woke up exteremly late.Just that I didn't rush to do that particular task before the sun became too hot for comfort.
Another better reason for not doing was the fact that Andrew was still around and the chances of us going out for breakfast before he leaves for KK was high. I just didn't want to be 'interrupted' while busy working.

I had finished doing a load of washing while cleaing up Uku's and the rest of the gang's 'mess' before the maid came. Hhmm ..It's beginning to be a routine work for me seeing that she comes very late nowadays.
Not that I minded... I have always said I still could manage without her. Thus this proved my point.
Hehe... this is what I always wanted to believe BUT... the actual fact is I do really need her 'bad' for the 'thousands' times that I'm not at home.
Gosh...the 'headaches' of someone with pets will only be known.... by someone with pets :)

Thought of cleaning up the cupboard.... BUT......the mood to do was not there.(again!)
Had gone for a little bit of groceries shopping last night and had 'dumped' everything ( including the plastic bags they come with) into the cupboard.

Yeah... am not kidding when I said 'dump'

The girls had a blast picking up varieties of biscuits to try on

Andrew only left for Keningau ( yea...another audit job there) around midday .
His last minute 'stuff' ( listening to songs from his turntable...daaaa!) somehow 'glued' him from going out and getting breakfast. I had in the end fried a packet of mee hoon and eggs for everyone.
Having breakfast late was good in the sense that the girls won't want to have lunch anymore .... which inturn would leave me 'free' .
In my world the word 'free' would actually mean doing what I feel like doing. ... ( today it definitely won't be rearranging the cupboard.. hehe)
In was the mood to do some baking. I had actually planned to do the carrot cake Yona had been asking me to for days.... BUT somehow I ended doing the pineapple cookies.

The dough was just the right consistency
putting in the filling , rolling into shapes and giving them a few 'snips' as 'make up'
glaced in rows and ready for the oven
fresh from the oven


horrey!!!...the end product.
Hhmm... I had to be my own guinea pig as the girls doesn't seem to show the least interest in them. I should have gone with the carrot cake :(

I attended to my garden while the cookies were baking.
I'm happy to say that my chillies were growing strong and so were the limes.

These were going to be the mother plants for our new place.
“The doors we open and close each day decide the lives we live.”

FRI....STEAM DAY

Ordinary day with nothing much activities.
Morning was spent going out for breakfast and other stuff with Andrew.
He is in the middle of making some 'electronic stuff' so there were few 'things' that he needed to hunt for.
One minute we were at mile 8 and the next at bandar ramai...


Blink Blink's new bowl. Andrew bought another one for Uku too....what about Nay,Girlie,BrownBrown,Sugar,Pochee,PrincessChub,Mamatay and Bluemone?
yea...ten tails in all (....and counting)

Blink Blink grew too long for his 'bed' so he chewed a big hole to extend his head out

The tokek had not make a single sound since the day I caught it. Nor had it eaten the 'worms' that I placed in his tank.
Worried that it would die of hunger I had gone to the pet shop yesterday for some crickets. None were for sale so I practically beg the shop assistant for these ( 5 pcs of their stock )

2K's food


My make for the day....steamed kuih lapis. I tried this recipe out because it got a good rating on the net. It turned out very well but nothing spectacular. Exactly like the normal kuih lapis that I can get from the market. Good for commercial purposes I suppose but lack that 'personal taste' for a nice afternoon tea time serving.

The girls' coach called and asked them to come for training tonight.Unlike Lydia, Yona was more 'pissed' rather than happy with that. I can understand how she felt. It has been more than two months since she last bowled. We tend to get a little 'lazy' once the routine is broken... I said we because I too follow their routine when it comes to bowling.
Andrew came along so I didn't have to drive them there. I didn't get to bowl as there were not 'kakis' around as well as all the lanes were already booked.
Yona had something to show after the session was over... a blistered thumb

Lydia with her bowling ball..... which is getting too light for her

*************

Perhaps our eyes need to be washed by our tears once in a while, so that we can see Life with a clearer view again.

BUTT OUT!!!!!!!!!!

People need to stay out of other people`s business.
Honestly, how can they say what is and what is not?
what is good for me and what is good for him?.
They really don`t know us. They need to stay out of other`s people`s business and deal with their own issues.

Life is a journey, and I`m still walking it. And, like everyone, I`m going to have some days that are better than others, some days that are tougher than others. But I`m in a much happier place, the happiest place I`ve ever been in my life, and that`s why it feels so good to me.

YOUTUBE/MAGGOTS/TOKEK/?

I have been on youtube for a number of days looking at yucky abscess and scummy worms that I literally 'sees' them each time I close my eyes to sleep.
eeeooowww... would be the word but..... it is that 'like/hate' feeling that runs within that keeps me going to these sites for more and more 'thrills':)
I don't know if I would have stop by now if I didn't get to witness the 'real deal' with one of the old cats.
I only came to realise Loopie's wound when he didn't budge from his spot during feeding time. Normally he would be the first one to come during any meal.
A closer look and I was horrified to see how 'serious' his paw was..... not to mention how 'bad' he smelled.
I knew it was 'seriously bad' as his brother Ashy had smelled that same exact rottening smell some time ago and the vet I took him to extracted eleven maggots out of his much much smaller wound.
aaahhhhhhhh.... how could I have let this happened? I felt so sorry for him to have gone through all the pain.
I brought him to the vet no doubt but had to leave him there for a week upon the vet's recommendation ( which also cost me RM195).
It was that 'bad'.Just look at how many of them were there....
eeeeeeeeeee...I almost grab them tweezer and do it myself

Back after the amputation of one digit. The sight was still something to eeeeeeeow about.
.................................................
With the PMR exams over for Yona, it was the right time for us to go and open her bank account with BSN as per required in accordance with her scholarship grant.
Unlike Tisha's, I didn't want to go to the town's branch as there was now a newer and nearer branch located at Taman Indah.
Finding a parking spot at Taman Indah was always a 'difficult' task but luckly that day we did managed to get one after only a short wait.
Servicewise......mmmmmmm.... so much so to be said as with all the BSN branches.
They don't provide photocopy services evenwhen I said I would gladly pay for all the copies needed. With a no answer, I had to walk a block away to get them copies which they then blindly took without even refering at the original.
Is this the normal practice for all banks everywhere now?. Do the customers provide the necessary copies for them?
The banks are the ones that need these copies. Shouldn't they be the one going to the length getting them?
Opening a saving account was something I myself did while I was still with HSBC. No doubt that was years ago but I'm sure all the necessary procedures still holds.
We used to see the originals and we make the copies ourselves. Fees?....what fees?..everything was FOC.
Hhmmm..........
And does it really take three to four days to open an account?
It was tuesday and I was told to collect the book on Friday.
Lucky for them I was not in one of my 'moods' to open my mouth.... 'BIG'
Somehow at the back of my mind was ..hey it's BSN la...justifing their short comings
I leave it to you to 'read' what that really means.

Oh yea.... before we left for the bank, the big.... I mean BIG Tokek finally made itself seen. It has been months since he made known to us that he was 'here'.
To....kek!..... To...kek! everynight without fail.
It's been months too that Andrew , mom and the girls asked me to look for it.
I was more afraid of looking at his face than the risk of being bitten.
Shaking and heart pounding , I managed to cage it after just less than ten minutes.

This is the first big cicak I have seen live

My old aquarium made to be his new home
..............................................


A note to myself-
.....to deal with things as they happen, and not to make plans or to worry about the future even when I've lived through a lot of changes recently. Also I've learnt to take each day as it comes.

TO KNOW OR NOT

Not knowing is one of the worst kind of torture of the heart I guess,
........... because then your imagination takes over.
Love me or hate me, but please tell me now.

WHY

When do you feel that a relationship needs to be defined?
I don't know if all of this circumstanced or is there someone else or maybe he just got 'here' and don’t want to be tied down right away or....what?
Is it too soon to determine anything?.

Thou the heart never lies if it gets that intuition. Some people are sweet talkers. Could he be one too?

Only time will tell.
Until then....I will still be here.

Still..I am human and that means I have doubt. I just wish he would do a little more of what he says he is capable of.
I needed him to do that ...to show me that.

Why does he leaves me to swim in my own thoughts....
Why...

MAKING THE MOST

Making the most of life means never forgetting to stop and smell the flowers along the way. To be happy with ourselves and everything that is around us.
To appreciate the journey rather than concentrate on the destination.
Everything else will fall into place when we are in this mindset. When we are able to be a happier person, we truly will enjoy our lives more. No longer will we sweat the 'small' stuff because by then we would have realised that they do not really matter in the bigger picture. All these allows us then to focus on what really do matters.

PEOPLE COME INTO YOUR LIFE FOR A REASON

I have kept this for years.
Read it over and over again each time I face the question on WHY someone life's 'path' branches out from mine.



People come into your life for a reason, a season or a
lifetime. When you know which one it is, you will know
what to do for that person. When someone is in your
life for a REASON, it is usually to meet a need you
have expressed. They have come to assist you through a
difficulty, to provide you with guidance and support,
to aid you physically, emotionally or spiritually.
They may seem like a godsend and they are. They are
there for the reason you need them to be. Then,
without any wrongdoing on your part or at an
inconvenient time, this person will say or do
something to bring the relationship to an end.
Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away.
Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand.
What we must realize is that our need has been met,
our desire fulfilled, their work is done. The prayer
you sent up has been answered and now it is time to
move on.





Some people come into your life for a SEASON, because
your turn has come to share, grow or learn. They bring
you an experience of peace or make you laugh. They may
teach you something you have never done. They usually
give you an unbelievable amount of joy. Believe it, it
is real. But only for a season.!





LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons,
things you must build upon in order to have a solid
emotional foundation. Your job is to accept the
lesson, love the person and put what you have learned
to use in all other relationships and areas of your
life. It is said that love is blind but friendship is
clairvoyant .





I never fail to thank them for being a part of my life, whether they were there for a reason, a season or a lifetime.

The road of life twists and turns and no two directions are ever the same. Yet our lessons come from the journey, not the destination.
Life is a one time forward journey....we could wish with regrets for what we SHOULD HAVE , COULD HAVE or MIGHT HAVE done to turn back the clock and put whatever 'wrong' matter to 'right' but in reality we know this is something impossible .
It is gone when it is gone .....
...and so we move on....
as with life.