Same road.....Long long time ago

Cruising down the old sim-sim road, I can't help but feel a little sadness. I had been passing this route so many time for so many years. So many years passed and it is still here.

I knew few people who had passed here and are not here anymore ... and yet the road is still here.
I too will be 'gone' one day and  I know this road will still be here.

Somehow with what I was feeling...i.e. sadness of getting to the 'end' by the day.... makes my mind wander to my memories of yesteryears.

We passed the school where I attended year one. Ah.. though so much upgrading and new buildings added through the years,  the old building where I studied was still there.

I don't remember the date but the year was 1969... my first day at school. The class was so crowded that they didn't have enough tables nor chairs for every student.

Mum send me to class along with a chair. I shared a table with another student. Those who didn't bring their own chairs were not allowed into class.

Memories of those days are vague but there are some moments that I can still clearly see in my head.

I had memories of being punished for not knowing my time tables and for being 'noisy' in class .

Those days the cane was allowed but I remembered my punishments were more to standing on the chair, pulling my own ears and walking around the class on my knees .

I have memories of one teacher who was very close to me . He had a house just beside the school.
I remembered we even exchanged photographs  for rememberance purpose before the family moved to Beluran a year later.
Years later ,I heard he got married but was still living and teaching there.

My regrets will always be the fact that I didn't  pay him any visit all the times when we moved back to Sandakan three years later.  He lived a very short life as I was told he passed away around that same time.
Looking back at mum's old album, I still have that photograph .

Wow...those are memories back to when I was just six. That would be forty-two years ago.

Crap....I can't help but feel so 'old' now.

REASONING

Just as you feel bad when people judge you, you should also learn how to put your beliefs aside when judging people and not making any conclusions before you gather enough information.

"Only you can judge you" A fact that tells us that we are only allows to judge ourself.

The human mind was designed to fill gaps. People assume the intentions of others when they lack information and this leads to incorrect judgment most of the time .
People's judgement does affect me in a way ...initially ...BUT that's just the initial feeling.
I  have always comforted myself  knowing  that most of these judgements are based on nothing but wild guesses of envious people.
And most of those times...I am right.

I don't 'butt' into unwanted 'territories'....
I have nothing to do with your life even if your 'off track' story says otherwise, so why are you so interested in mine?
What do you really get out of this?
I have been letting your disparages get by for months now but I strongly now believe that retaliation is what you really want from me.

I  live the kind of life that allows me to sleep easily at night, knowing I have lived another day to its fullest without hurting nor distroying my fellowmen.
I wonder if you are able to do that since it pretty clear that hurting and distroying are the only things you're capable of doing.

MOTIVES

What is the motive behind trying to make another person feel jealous and perhaps even inadequate?

It’s not always easy to know someone’s ethical and moral conduct, until we ascertain the motive behind the actions. Every person  has a motive for doing something, or acting in a certain way .

 

People who are nice to you in front of others, but behind your back really hates you?. 

Looking good in front of people; even  perceived as your true friend when everyone’s lookin?

I knew 'friends' like you....`

They are in actual, suffering from low self-esteem and bad moral habits.

It's pathetic to think that someone would do something so 'low' just to make herself feel better.
.

A FRIEND'S PASSING

Just as we were settling down at the airport awaiting for our next flight, I looked at my phone.
Four unread messeges. None but one made my heart missed a beat.
It was from a long time friend in Melaka relating the passing of another friend...Ravi.
He had a heart attack. Surprisingly for we had known him to be very 'fit'. He was afterall Melaka's state hockey coach and had just been transferred to Sabah prior to his passing.
A lot of questions built up on my mind  as to the hows and whys...but somehow all  won't matter now.

My eyes well up and my throat gets a little lump that is hard to swallow. It dawns on me that he was no longer with us. The idea that there can't be any new memories formed with someone who's 'gone' forever sadden me.
I don't quite know how to react to his passing, but am most thankful that I had the opportunity to be friends with such a good man eventhough for just a short time.
They were very meaningful times which might not  be measured up against any scale of importance to others, but to Jo and me , they were quality times. Moments that we would always remember.
Human, all too human, he was and Indeed we loved him as a friend and respected him as an intelligent human being.

"Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away."
- Hilary Cooper

I hope that his soul finds peace. I wish and pray his love ones find peace and comfort in the knowledge that he had touched many lives ...mine and Jo's included.

.

WOW!

Oh wow.... my holidays hardly over and someone has been 'blogging' about it.

'There is so much good in the worst of us,
And so much bad in the best of us,
That it hardly becomes any of us
To talk about the rest of us.
~Edward Wallis Hoch

THREE OUT OF THREE

Woooooo..... three out of three.
I have forgotten that two would be going home this week because of Casey's save last week.
Doesn't make much different anyway as I got them 'picked' out all the same.

Tonight saw Naima and Thia leave.
It's sad when one by one of them get sent home but this is just how the 'game' goes... and they knew the risk of their dreams being shattered each week.

It'll get tougher to predict as the journey gets nearer and nearer to the end.
However,  next on the list to go should be Paul, Haley, Stefano, Jacob, Casey.....not in any particular order yet.
Wherelse still on the safest list would be Lauren,Scotty, Pia and James.
Yeah..they are actually my  picks for the final four.

Scotty and Lauren perform an amazing version of “I Told You So.” One of my favourite country song. Imagine my two favourite voices doing a duet... awsome.
They were as good as  Randy Travis and  Carrie Underwood's live performances on idol.

Lauren’s performance tonight was another A+  and Scotty was sweet and nice.... as always he melts my heart.

All praises for the AI boy band  of Casey,James, Paul and Stefano too. I thought they performed very well .They even look like a real band.

Steven  thought they were good too. Good enough to be going on tour with Aerosmith  on their up coming tour.

SHOULD BE 10 BUT IT'S STLL 11

It's probably just me cos even  Americn Idol can't seem to excite me much today.
Evenso, I did make a point to watch it from the beginning while doing the laundry....and blogging about it.
OK, enough of the small talk .On to the reviews. As always, I’ll review each performance based on how  I see ( hear is the more correct word) it.
In order of performance
*Scotty McCreery, “Country Comfort.” Yessss......the opening act.
It was nice to see Scotty and on the guitar. Somehow a man with the guitar always gets to me. He has a fantastic voice and can sing country so well. . ..thou anything he sing always sounds great to me.
Muaahhhhh..just love him


*Naima Adedapo, “I’m Still Standing.” Well, she won’t be tomorrow night. I’m pretty sure she sealed her fate with this one. . She’s just not a good technical singer.

*Paul McDonald, “Rocket Man.”   He shouldn’t have chosen that song cos it did more harm than good for him.. Paul is probably better suited fronting a band. Not being the American Idol. With the judges giving him negative reviews,  I don’t think he’ll last much longer in the competition. You just can't make a slightest 'slip' with everyone around so good .... what's with that outfit? Like I've seen him 100 times in it.

*Pia Toscano, “Don’t Let The Sun Go Down On Me.” REALLY? Again a ballad?,  Somehow when Scotty sings country all the way, no one seems to be bother and yet with her, everyone starts to yak.
No doubt she does have a great voice, nailed the song ... and with that beauty...wow...you can't help youself but love her.

*Stefano Lagone, “Tiny Dancer.” HHmmmmm..... so so... He was extra careful after last week's listing. Done a good job I supposed as the judges seems to think so.

 

*Lauren Alaina, “Candle in the Wind.”  This is such an emotional song and she nailed it to the ground.. I think it’s the best performance of her run and probably of the night. Even the judges agreed to that.
Steven said..' if you gonna sing like that always than you might just be able to afford the whole dress.... ' I didn't think much of the dress too. ..funny with the 'tail' hanging out there.

*James Durbin, “Saturday Night’s Alright For Fighting.”   James’ performance was insane.  Last week Steven already said he was crazy...In a good way.

It was good if you like rocker cos hes all that this week... better than most “Idol” finale performances.
He's still one of the judges favourites.

*Thia Megia, “Daniel.”  A familiar song.... which I myself  love so much. It suite well with her vocal. Although it sounded slower than the original song.
It was nothing spectacular...just normal for me.

*Casey Abrams, “Your Song.” Now we can see he really slowing it down this week. Making sure we won't be where he was last week.  I think it paid off too. The judges love him,,come to think of it, so did I.  Tonight performance would be good enough to save him.

 *Jacob Lusk, “Sorry Seems To Be The Hardest Word.” What was with that fake crying face?  I just don’t like his voice. I want to be fair to Jacob, because I think he’s a good artist. But I just can’t get into his voice and his singing style. Ugh. I don’t know what to say.

*Haley Reinhart, “Bennie and The Jets.” . I had  fun listening to her sing this song. It was alright, better than some of the earlier singers. Still....I just can's picture her going all the way to the end (evenwith a strong fan club)

100 Percent Safe: James Durbin, Casey Abrams, Lauren Alaina, Scotty McCreery
Most Likely Safe: Pia Toscano, Haley Reinhart, Stefano Langone, Jacob Lusk
Probably the Bottom 3: Paul, Naima , Thia
Possibly going: Naima  or Paul 

This could be another crazy week.  I'm predicting based on what I just heard.  I’m not confident at all in these predictions...afterall I'm not even american to begin with.... BUT I'am very confident with those on the 100percent safe list. ..hahaha